Hello! It’s a normal day here at our house. Laundry is going, cleaning has been done (half assed), I’m on the laptop looking for jobs aka hitting refresh repeatedly on job search sites for which I’ve already submitted my resume to all available jobs that are within my pay expectations and qualifications. Spongebob Squarepants is on in the background and the kidlet is on the loveseat enjoying it.
So much has gone on since I last posted. The kidlet is so close to being FULLY potty trained. The hubster found a part time job! I had a temp position that only lasted one week unfortunately. I’ve become addicted to the show Degrassi, I’ve been reading everything I can get my hands on about bi-polar, depression and anxiety since unemployment is a major trigger for these things in my life.
One of my best friends has been going thru absolute BULLSHIT and I had to write a letter on her behalf. I won’t go into detail because it’s not my story to tell, but rest assured it is BULLSHIT, and I wish I could do more then just write a letter.
I’m in such a negative mood lately, I’m sure my haters are loving that, I know I have them, I know they read my blog, facebook and twitter are small places and I can’t be everyones favorite person. I want to be happy. I used to be able to fake it til I made it, I could get up and decide to be happy and I’d end up motivated and energized, not anymore.
I need to get my groove back, I’m working on some things but nothing lately seems to fall into place. What happened to everything happens for a reason? Was coming to STL a mistake? Oh! Also I got into a verbal altercation with my mother in law, and we haven’t been going over there as much as we did when we first moved into town. I talked to my step mother in law, my hubby’s dad’s wife…she is on my side and said the things I said were not out of line in any way.
The kidlet wants to bring his books back to the library today, but I don’t feel like going there. I feel like I even suck as a parent lately. I really need to figure out what is going on with me, but we have no more health insurance. We went from living comfortably to living in fear of homelessness. Okay I’m being a drama queen, I have too many people who care about me and my lil family for homelessness to ever happen, but WTF we were living a comfortable life, now eh…
I haven’t been writing, other then the letter for my friend, I’ve been searching for jobs, watching too much TV/DVDs cleaning,reading and just basically exsisting. I think I’ll be okay, I’m trying to make it a point to be as positive as I can and keep my son in the dark about how we both feel which is pretty loserish and hopeless.
Something is wrong with my DVR, as 2 episodes of my son’s favorite show spongebob squarepants have just been 30 mins of blank screen…hmmm same thing with yo gabba gabba. The kidlet is now yelling at me because I made his toyroom messy, I said “kid it’s a toyroom it can be messy” he’s like “why can’t the house be messy” I’m like “cuz it’s a house” good enough answer for him he went back upstairs.
I am now convinced our cable has been shut off or something because nothing is working. There is no storming of any kind today…what would hunter S Thompson do? He’d write. But he’d write about the state of the world today,he’d be more then a little pissed off about this oil spill situation. See that’s another thing I keep thinking things like the planet is in danger, serious bad danger and we don’t have time to fix it. It’s the OCD in me. Everything is just on super maximun overload in my brain lately.
Yeah something is wrong with the dvr, there I fixed it. I’m a genius! Oh the other day I tried “Lancome’s All done up” lipstick, pretty, kinda purple/maroonish. It’s a tube that I never tried because when I first got it my son got into my make up spun the lipstick up and out and I happened to look at him and he wanted to act like he didn’t do anything wrong and put the cap on! Totally smooshing the lipstick. But I kept it and didn’t lose my temper on him. He was smaller and just too cute back then for me to get mad over something like that.
My anniversary is coming up this month! My marriage is still strong, stressed right now but strong. And I’ll end on that cuz it’s a happy note. Sorry for being sort of all over the place, my mind is all over the place, I wish there was a job for that. Or that I could make money writing this blog. Until I figure either of those things out or someone contacts me from the resume’s I’ve sent I will remain semi blah.
Melanie